Cookie Monster, The Roommate

cookie monster

As a child, cookie monster was my favorite Sesame Street character. However, I never thought I would live with an adult version of the muppet. At first glance, they looked nothing alike – my roommate and Cookie Monster. But, upon closer inspection, the similarities between my roommate and Cookie Monster were striking: blue hair and a familiar sounding gruff voice to start.  My roommate, let’s call her “Cookie” for short, wore eclectic tutus and fishnet stockings; compared to Cookie Monster’s modestly shaggy blue coat, they just might have been distant cousins.

Cookie’s nickname derived from the insatiable desire for baked goods, specifically my baked goods. Now, I have quite the sweet tooth. But, when I would leave a box of cookies in the kitchen cabinet and return for seconds, half the box would be depleted. Even when I switched to less appetizing cookies like the healthy faux devil’s food cake zero fat variety, my roommate still devoured these desserts. I knew “Cookie” was consuming them. There was no mysterious mouse in our apartment.  My other roommate also never ate sweets, except for drinking Diet Coke purge sessions. So, I began hiding the cookies in my bedroom – under the bed and behind a dresser, but no matter where I put them, my roommate  tracked down the treats like a hunting dog with a scent for chocolate chips.

When I tried to confront Cookie about her behavior, she started mumbling, talking very quickly in a gruff voice that sounded a lot like her cousin, Cookie Monster. Of course, she denied being the culprit. Despite all of her protests all I heard from her moving lips was “Me No Eat Your Cookies!” Eventually, I resigned to the reality that I would have to share my desserts with her. If I ordered anything gourmet or seasonal like Girl Scout Cookies, I would have to leave them at the office. Om nom nom nom!

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