His and Hers Cheese

English: Individually wrapped slices of Americ...

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I am not a cheesemonger. In fact, if I were to apply, it is unlikely the famous West Village Murray’s cheese shop would hire me based on my basic knowledge of parms and blues. However, compared to my boyfriend, I actually might have a chance at winning a ribbon at the Wisconsin World Championship of Cheese.

Apparently, opposites attract when it comes to cheese, and this is certainly the case for the two of us! I discovered our vast differences of opinion on the topic when we lived together for two months. While I had been expecting to gain deep insight into his personality, instead, the breaking news of the summer revolved around his absurd fondness for American cheese.

In fact, he is practically addicted to the thick pre-sliced American cheese singles. We have all seen the package in the dairy section of the store. It is the one that contains plastic wrapped in more plastic,  perhaps subliminally hiding the bizarre brightness of the man-made orange color. Though, I do not need the freshest burrata straight off the boat from Italy, any mozarella will do just fine, this American cheese is my nemesis. Mostly, because, well, it feels like rubber and tastes like plastic (not that I have ever eaten the later). When I see this cheese, I have flashbacks of the fisherprice baking playset of my childhood.

My boyfriend did not truly comprehend my aversion until my unexpected shrieks when I opened up the refrigerator. After a stressful week, he had offered to go grocery shopping. I gratefully accepted. However, when I looked in the refrigerator, a giant package of the bright yellow American cheese singles glared back at me like an evil jack-o-lantern. I screamed loudly as if I had discovered a monster in the refrigerator. My outburst caused quite the commotion.

As it turned out, the joke was on me. Like a good roommate (and boyfriend), he had not forgotten my strong dislike for the rubbery cheese, he had actually purchased it as joke. From that moment forward, we agreed to have his and her cheese for as long as we would date.

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